How Much is “Enough”?
I think there are two sides to this. One is the actual amount of money that is enough to support the life I want. The other is the feeling that I have enough.
The first one is, in a way, the easier problem. It is a problem that has many answers, but answers nonetheless. There are plenty of calculations in the FIRE community to tell you the number side.
What I am contemplating is more the feeling side of things.
Having enough money unfortunately does not necessarily mean feeling like you have enough. How much do I feel is enough? Maybe just a little bit more. Not yet. Maybe double of what I have. 😉
Note that I have no answers in this post. This is a contemplation, not a final conclusion.
The Numbers
I think knowing the numbers is the easy part.
I am not talking about a number plucked out of the sky that says, "Hmm, I would like 10 million dollars to feel enough, thanks." (Though yes, I would very much love 10 million dollars and I think it might make me feel very secure.)
I am talking about a target worked out based on something grounded in reality, like your living costs or your lifestyle. For FIRE, it is the 4% rule (though Bill Bengen later updated his research closer to 4.7%). So in terms of numbers, a portfolio of enough is generally your yearly living cost multiplied by 25.
Of course, there are variations because people's lives are not uniform. Some need more, some need less, and some aim for an ideal lifestyle cost versus a minimum living cost. I know people who calculate their portfolio target as their yearly living cost multiplied by 37 instead of 25.
But the main point is that there is a specific, logical number based on known rules.
The Feeling Side of Enough
Whichever rule you use, it does not address the emotional side of things. Theoretically, once I achieve the portfolio size I need to cover my life, be it 1 million, 2 million, or 3 million, I should automatically feel that I have enough, right?
Well, not exactly.
Yes, I feel financially safer and more stable than I was 10 years ago. But do I consistently feel like I have enough money? Nope.
And it is expected. This is not a new pattern for me.
When I started my career and did not have much, I thought, if only my salary was X higher than current, I will feel safe. Then I reached that number and it felt good... for about 5 minutes. Then my brain told me, oh, if I get to an even higher number, a six-figure salary, or if my savings reach Y, I will finally feel safe. Objectively, it was correct. Every time my savings and portfolio increased, I was safer than I had ever been, especially since we kept our living costs fairly stable.
Psychologically, though, that is kind of a lie my brain keeps telling me. I did not automatically feel better about where I am just because my number increased.
Interestingly, I did feel safer after I followed what the Barefoot Investor suggested. Just having that emergency bucket of 12 months of living costs (or what some people call F U money) made me feel significantly safer. The hint for me was that to feel safer, my mind wants a sense of control and agency. Looking at that emergency pool and knowing I wasn't supposed to touch it gave me a safety margin. It seems silly, but that did the trick for me.
The pattern continued with everything else, though. Every time I got a raise, I had 5 minutes of a good feeling, and then all the money went to its assigned buckets. I learned the hard way that an increase in income does not mean a permanent increase in feeling good about it.
Moving the Goalposts
Because of that pattern, I fully expected that I would keep chasing a new, higher portfolio number every time I reached a goal. For many years, that was not an issue I had to address. In fact, it actually helped me reach my goals because I had to work with my compulsive mind. If I just put a final number that was too high to reach, I knew I would get discouraged. So I set distinct levels.
Lowest Level: Replace 50% of my current salary
Second Level: Replace 70%
Third Level: Replace 90%
And so on.
It worked well because there was always a next level to set my sights on, and it kept me motivated. It was also, in a way, inflation adjusted to my lifestyle. My income back then rose a bit faster than inflation, and my spending adjusted slightly to my salary. The drawback, however, was that the numbers I set also elusively moved up, making it increasingly harder for me to feel that we truly have enough.
A False KPI
Perhaps I accidentally set myself an impossible goal. The portfolio has a finish line. Feeling like I have enough might not.
After making the jump and taking a break, I felt better about my number. I probably have more of a feeling of enoughness now than I ever have before, but that feeling is not stable. When a big cost comes up, when the economy changes, or when government rules change, the question is always there at the back of my mind: Do I still have enough?
So I begin to wonder. Maybe looking to feel like I have enough money is a false KPI, at least at this stage of FIRE.
Maybe the point of having objective numbers is simply to know whether the plan still works, not to make myself feel emotionally secure forever.
If feeling like I have enough money is almost always elusive, maybe I am focusing on the wrong thing. When external factors change, the point should be to review the portfolio, not to stress over my feeling of insecurity.
Maybe once the number side is addressed, the question is no longer: Do I have enough money?
Instead, it turns toward a slightly morbid question:
If I die tomorrow, would I feel like my life is good enough?
I feel lucky that my answer to the latter question is a yes, I think so. I have my lovely partner, I have my lovely dogs, and I have my good friends and family. What made me feel enough wasn’t the money. What makes me feel enough is the love I have.
I am not saying that I don't have any new, worldly desires. I do. But the how is an equation problem. Figuring out what I want is the real, harder question.
Maybe after a certain level, the questions about money, whether we are having enough of it, and whether we are safe enough, are mainly just a distraction.
Money can solve a lot of issues, and one of the comforting things about a money problem is that it is a solved problem in terms of direction. You already know the answer to it: earn more, save more, or bring in more money. It is definitely not an easy problem to address, but the path is clear.
But there are other problems, deeper life problems, that are not solved so easily. Sometimes I wonder if we just distract ourselves from them with money, with work, and with the continuous pursuit of more.
Maybe that is why no amount of money has ever permanently answered the question for me. Perhaps it was never the right question to begin with.